The Argument — TL;DL: Acamea Deadwiler — Episode 416 Parting Shot

Sup,

How meta … a mention of arguments in the argument. I bring it up as a means for you to quickly note the contents for this newsletter. I received a couple nice emails from readers who like the weekly format that coincides with each podcast, which also includes the publication of the parting shot. The “performance” of the parting shot often varies as I, at times, go off script or otherwise add some groan or sound effect or intentional/unintentional mumble/stumble. It gives you the option in case you don’t have the time to listen until the end of each pod.

Matt Bell writes in his wonderful craft book Refuse to be Done, “Arguments aren’t common in contemporary novels, but you can still use them as generative tools. If you’re stuck and aren’t sure what comes next, why not try lining up all the little inkings of future plot into an argument and then write it out? You could do this for the rest of the book, obviously: write arguments for chapters not yet written and then write the chapters.”

This is especially helpful with essay writing and memoir, but could be a cool way to approach reported longform journalism as well.

Too Long; Didn’t Listen: Acamea Deadwiler on Not Being a Human AI Replica of Someone She Loves

For Episode 416, Acamea Deadwiler, an essayist and memoirist out of Las Vegas, came by the show to talk about her memoir Daddy’s Little Stranger (Riddle Brook Publishing).

Acamea (@acamea on IG) is a Pushcart Prize nominated writer and her work has appeared in Bellevue Literary Review, North American Review, and Beyond Words Literary Magazine. Her features also have appeared in the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, and Bustle.

Here’s an brief excerpt from our conversation. Subscribe and listen wherever you enjoy your podcasts, CNFers. The following excerpt was tightened for clarity.

Brendan: Given that you have a sports writer background and being around athletes, I have been loving talking about this as a metaphor, just in terms of all athletes, especially great ones, no matter how talented they are, they still have a certain measure of film study. They're studying their own work. They're studying the work of others. There's a study component, no matter how talented an athlete is. What is the nature of your reader film study, if you will?

Acamea: Hmm. I love that, and the athlete reference because it's true, even Michael Jordan would watch tape after games. You can't be great in your field if you don't study the craft. I'm working on a new book now. And I'll go back and read other books that I've read that alluded to topics that I'm covering. I'm now rereading bell hooks’s All About Love because she talks about some of the things that I'm touching on in my next book. So that's what I'll do, I'll think about what are the books that I've read that relate to this subject matter, or could read that relate to the subject matter, but I'm also careful with that, because I don't want it to subconsciously seep into my work, where now I'm just regurgitating what somebody else has already said. … But I definitely study the writers and the works that resonate most with me and that I feel are of benefit to whatever I'm working on.

Brendan: Something you just brought up is this idea of if you read too much of someone, especially when you're synthesizing stuff, it's something I call voice creep, some of their style hijacks your own. But at the same time, that's how you develop your own voice and style is by putting all of these influences into the Vitamix and turning that on high and what comes out is this unique smoothie that's Acamea. So you talked about some of your influences, but how did you arrive at your voice and style — not that it's static, it's always going to change — but how did you arrive at something that felt uniquely you?

Acamea: It's funny that you say that because in going back to Hanif (Abdurraqib), he was one of the first writers I discovered that really moved me with his language. And so I just instantly started reading all of his work, and I found myself starting to write like him subconsciously, not that anyone could write like Hanif, but I found myself very much emulating his writing style. And there was one piece when I read it, I was like, Wait, this is this is almost plagiarism! Because it sounds too much like Hanif. As great as he is, I am not Hanif and I don't aspire to be anyone because like you said, it's about finding your voice.

But what it did was inform me to the things that resonated with me about his writing style, and how could I use that to sharpen my own voice? Or how could that support how I naturally write? And so I take the things that resonate most with me, or they speak most to me, and that is his run-on sentences. If you read his work, he does a lot of what an English teacher would call a run-on sentence. A lot of and this and this and this, and I love that. So I adopt that sometimes, but I limit how much I use it. So that's kind of what I do is I pick out what really speaks to me about this, why am I even writing like this? Why am I impersonating this author's writing? Like, what is it about it that I really love, and I find those few things that I really, really love and just find a way to put my own spin on it. Okay, would I naturally say this is my natural voice? That's something I think about. And I just try to take it and make it my own. So maybe I don't say and this and this and this, but I say but this but this. So it's little tweaks to make it your own and make sure that I'm still using my authentic voice and not just being a human AI replica of this writer that I love.

Parting Shot from Episode 416: The Phantom Limb of Social Media and Bringing the Apples to Market

I’ve been logged out of my two social media accounts for several weeks now. It still feels weird. Like, what’s a guy to do with his thoughts? What of posting a pithy zinger? My fingers will hover over the keyboard from time to time to type in Threads or IG. I almost unilaterally got zero out of such visits. The prevailing feeling of checking socials was one of annoyance, jealousy, and the stench of desperation you smell off of every writer trying his or her best to peel off any attention they can.

It doesn’t work. Not really.

Some might argue it does. I’m firmly in the camp that it works for those who are famous. Posting anywhere and hoping for traction is like putting a token into a slot machine and expecting triple cherries. 

Admittedly, and recently, I became self-conscious about my lack of social media presence (kinda like if you tell people you don’t drink anymore, or are taking a break from alcohol) just the other day when my book big editor needed podcast metrics and social media followers as he was going into a business meeting the brass at HarperCollins. This was bad timing from a podcast metric POV because for roughly 1-2 years, the pod was getting 9-10K downloads per month. Downloads, not subscribers. But, the past 1-2 months, that number has cratered to 4,000 downloads per month. And this is the number I had to share with my editor. I have no explanation as to why the audience metrics have cratered like that. Either people have outgrown it, moved on, or grew annoyed by me (I’m annoyed by me!) or maybe they play it without downloading it.

I’m trying to get the show more exposure by pitching myself as a podcast guest and dipping my toe back into essay writing, which I haven’t done for a long time. I’m dabbling with writing personal essays as screenplays to shake up the form a bit. So if I’m able to get some things published and appear on other podcasts, I can keep the show relevant. I pitched interview excerpts to Longreads (very interested!) and Electric Lit. Lit Hub has ignored me for years, so I’m giving up on them.

This is the nature of you can’t just grow your apples and hope people will stop by your orchard. You have to bring them to market, to where the people are. It doesn't matter how good your apples are if the people can’t access them easily. In fact, there might be an orchardist with inferior apples who is all over the markets but it’s easy to access and so people settle for inferior apples. How many people are growing great apples that are going uneaten? Now, if growing apples for fun is your jam, then don’t fret, but I suspect many of you want to share your apples and maybe make money from your cosmics (!) and Granny Smiths. So we truck them to the markets and ask for admittance because we have value to offer the markets. We don’t want a monocrop at the market.

So stay wild, CNFers, and if you can’t do, interview, see ya!

Coda

Gonna plant a wee seed here: We are less than a year from publication of my Steve Prefontaine biography. Title TK. (We’re changing it from The Gift to possibly Front Runner) Pre-orders are the name of the game, so I just want you thinking about it. It’s not avaiable for pre-order just yet. Again, just getting you thinking about it. Dead in the water without pre-orders, friend.

Also, for face-to-face time and to support the podcast, you can window shop at patreon.com/cnfpod.

And if you leave a review on Apple Podcasts, take a screenshot, send it to [email protected] and I’ll coach up a piece of your writing of up to 2,000 words.

Rage,

Brendan